This is a problem.
Though, it's likely not what you're thinking. Dionysus, for the the uninformed among you, has long been the writer's friend. She takes those austere, white-washed halls of academia and molds them into something nebulous, luminescent and full of possibility. Mind-altering agents will make a lateral thinker out of you. Consider that Francis Crick was doped out of his mind when he granted the spontaneous revelation of the DNA double-helix model. When you're a genius like Crick, a night of partying means you wake up with a Nobel prize in your lap. When you're me, it means walking up in class as your professor explains how they loved your dissertation on the parallels of agrarian economics and Victor Fleming's The Wizard of Oz and you should totally do a term paper on that thesis because it's just so damn fantastic!
It's an irritation, certainly, but what's perhaps worse is reading the paper (that you wrote) and being convinced of a case you previously thought ridiculous. Convinced by yourself. It's difficult not falling victim to intellectual nihilism at this point. If one could make a case for the secret agenda of a Judy Garland film, one could certainly explain vaudeville as an allegory for 19th century social theory, or justify moral outrage at the crude trappings of Rocko's Modern Life, or even state, without irony, that Birdemic is the single greatest film in American history.
And it is. Birdemic is the single greatest film in American history.
What makes a film great? Ask that question of any number of your peers and you'll receive any number of different answers. In light of this confusion, let's indulge in a thought experiment. Imagine a friend were to approach you, giddy in the afterglow, and inform you of one of the single most memorable nights of cinema in their life. They gush about the theater being packed to capacity, a riveted audience that never stopped laughing for two solid hours. After the film had ended, they could hardly stop talking about it. Indeed, weeks later, the excitement still hadn't died. This friend tells you, "I would watch that movie over and over again. I've never had so much fun at the movies." Could we agree this person is talking about an incredible film?
That's exactly what people are saying about Birdemic. I can declare truthfully that it has forced me to reevaluate everything I thought to be true concerning movies. Here's a dare. Go watch it, and see if it doesn't change your life.
